Sex Toy Review: Clone-A-Willy (and keep him close)

Top Ten Ways to Spice Things Up for V-Day

David Letterman always does a top ten list so we decided we’d do you a favor and provide you with ten ways to spice up things in the bedroom for Valentine’s Day. Actually, we use these techniques all the time – why wait for a “special” occasion?

10. Role the Dice: Create a list of 12 things that you enjoy doing to your lover. Have him/her do the same. Combine the lists numbering 1 to 24. Then spend the day in bed rolling the dice and completing the items on the list.

9.  Nine and a half weeks – the home version. Have you seen the movie? No? Well, they raided the ‘frig and added some hot, sexy foodstuff to deed. I like strawberries dipped in whipped cream topped with a splash of champagne. Add honey, ice cubes, whatever you like. And soon you will both be eating each other up, literally!

8. Tongue Bath – lick your partner from head to toe. Slowly, slowly. So often we forget about the foreplay but remember your skin is an erogenous zone and you can tease and tickle your mate until he begs you to let him stick it in. But first, stick it in your mouth. His shaft, his balls, the whole enchilada and trust me, he will be sure to return the favor!

7. Aphrodisiacs for Dinner – Serve up some oysters, figs, bananas, and of course chocolate! Combine this with number 9 and you’ll be on your way.

6. Erotica - read an erotic story or two with your partner. It is sure to get the juices flowing and things will start to pop up!

5. Take it to the Showers- After a long day/week there is nothing better than a hot, steamy bath. So why not do it together. Massage each other and enjoy the water as it rolls of of your bodies. Be sure to bring your Millennium Lube with you. It is silicone based and works great in the water.

4. Role Play – Everyone fantasizes and this is the perfect opportunity to bring those fantasies to life. And no, we are not talking French Maid either. Step out of your comfort zone and try a Dominatrix-themed night with a vinyl bodysuit and stilletos. Or, pretend to be complete strangers and go out for a night of chase and conquer as he tries to pick you up all over again.

3. Create Your Own Porno – You may not be too enthused about seeing yourself on film, but the fact is that videotaping a session with your significant other is an intimate, fun, and unique way of creating a lasting memory. Set up your camera in the chosen spot and let go of all of your inhibitions. Growl, scratch, role play, and catch it all for you both to enjoy for years to come.

2. Bathing in Baby Oil – on a tarp in the bedroom. Create your own personal oil slick. Remember to heat the oil in warm water and spread it over a plastic tarp. I used duct tape to keep the plastic from slipping off the bed. Not the run of the mill duct tape but tape with orange and red flames for the heat that was going to be generated.  A little bit of oil goes a long way, I poured it on the tarp and rolled my naked body in it – all over the bed. He oiled up too. And we met in the middle. Let the games begin!

1. Anal Sex – What? You haven’t tried this yet? Well, now is the time. Yeah, I know it is supposedly taboo but I tell you what…. Some of the best orgasms of my life have come from anal sex. Start by taking things really slow…… have a ton of lube (my personal fave is Millennium – works in water) and let your partner first stick the tip of his finger in. And then add one or two. Be sure to take deep breathes and RELAX! Let him get all lubed up and slowly, teasingly place just the tip in. Nice and slow, steady as you go…..soon you will be screaming for more and adding anal to your regular rotation. Trust me.

My name is ReNude….

Sex Toy Review: Clone-A-Willy (and keep him close)

So, you know how when you finally find a man whose penis is so spectacular that you’d give anything to carry it around with you all the time? Well, now you can. The Clone-A-Willy Make Your Own Vibrating Penis Mold kit is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift! This latex-free, allergen-free kit allows you to make a mold of your favorite “tool” and turn it into a fully-functioning sex toy in much the same way that the professionals make them.

The Process

The kit comes in a plastic tube with directions, molding powder, liquid rubber mixture, and a vibrator (1 AA battery, not included), all of which is used in a different step. The first step is to measure his penis using the tube that the kit comes in. After getting my husband as hard as possible with oral sex and with my hands, we held the closed end of the tube against his groin and measured his erect penis using a marker to mark off the length on the tube.

Unfortunately, our daughter (4) who was supposed to be asleep surprised us just as we were getting ready to measure him and so the final measurement was not as accurate as it should have been. While he was erect, the worry that she would wake up again made us work too fast instead of thoroughly.

We then cut the tube (utility scissors worked really well and enabled me to cute the tub smoothly) and covered the cut end with Duct-Tape as suggested by the instructions. This is a safety precaution as this cut edge is eventually held against his groin and without the tape it could cut him.

Now the next step does require that he be as hard as possible. If you measured correctly, this should not be a problem, but for us it was because of my daughter’s unintentional cock-block! But we improvised and were able to mold him effectively. Once he was hard, he continued to touch himself and me as I used the included thermometer to ensure the water was 98^₀ as required. I poured the molding powder into the measuring cup of water and gave it to my husband to mix while I worked on ensuring that he was hard enough. You only have two minutes once you mix the molding powder and water so you have to work fast. Once he was hard, we poured the mixture into the tube (we had about 45 seconds left) and he inserted his penis. He held the tube firmly in place against his groin and I set the timer again for 4 minutes. We kissed and touched and tried to keep it intimate. And while he did not need to stay fully erect for this stage, we wanted to make sure that we got a good mold.

At this point, we carefully removed his penis from the mold and my husband took a shower to remove the gelled mold that stuck to him. The instructions required that we wait at least 4 hours to let the mold set before mixing the rubber and pouring it into the mold. I misread this section and while my hubby was in the shower, I mixed the rubber and then realized that I was supposed to let the mold sit.  I had to pour the rubber in right away! I then inserted the vibrator which we stuck in the middle of cardboard as per the directions and let it set for 24 hours.

I decided not to stress about the slip up and joined my hubby in the shower!

The next night he could not wait to see what came out of the mold. We removed it from the tube, voila; it was a pretty realistic mold of his penis especially in terms of width. The only problem was, and I chalk this up to not waiting the 4 hours between making the mold and pouring the rubber, was that there are thin patches in some places and some of the veins were not as defined as they could have been. Again, that was my mistake though.

He cut off the excess rubber to make it smooth. I washed it using baby shampoo and grapefruit seed extract (to sterilize it) and added the battery. And we were ready to try it out. Suffice it to say, two of my husband made for a very exciting night of lovemaking! The vibrations are very strong and were just right for me. Between that and the realistic feel of our DIY dildo, I was on Cloud 9!

Afterthoughts:

I was very pleased with the results and do recommend that you make one of your own. If you have ever thought about having a threesome but have not actually done so, this is a great way to do it and keep it low stakes:  You, Your Man, and Your Man II.  And if you want to have something to keep you occupied while he is at work or traveling, this will be the perfect nap-time stress-reliever.

The Clone-a-Willy is washable and will stands up to lubes of all kinds.  I recommend that you wash it well prior to use as the rubber smell is a little strong.

This is definitely a TWO person job! While I am sure it can be done alone, it is easier (and more fun) with a partner. It is also important that you and your partner the directions!  And then reread them. And then use them as you use the kit. Be sure to get him fully hard before measuring so that you do not cut it too short because if you then get him fully hard when inserting into mold, he’ll be too long for the cut tube. That will obviously cause a problem. Also, If you have a child, do this when he/she is at a sitter or at school. You need uninterrupted time to get this all done.

Additionally, the clean up, while easy, must happen before the rubber dries. The mold gels so it pulls right off, but the rubber requires scrapping if you allow it to dry. Again, it is much easier to be on a towel that you can toss.

It is also very hard to keep this sexy as it’s much like doing a science project. Be sure to touch each other and help him out so that he doesn’t feel awkward.  Kissing, touching, porn, and sensual talk can all be used to help him maintain his erection. You can also use a cock ring (we did not).

And remember, have fun!

Review: INSIGNIA by LELO, ALIA (Petite & Discreet)

The Holidays have caused me to (unintentionally) neglect this blog! For that (my dear sponsors), I do apologize!

Today, I want to talk about the Insignia by LELO, Alia . This toy is petite and discreet. It isn’t intimidating to look at and with some relaxation, it gets the job done as far as clitoral pleasure is concerned. Its has an egg-like design with a hole in the sides for easy griping. To me it resembles the handle of a retractable dog leash, only snazzier. The outer shell of the toy is made from a soft silicone (available in pink, deep rose, or black) and the inner, a shiny metallic-like ABS core. The pleasure point sits on the cone-shaped tip.

With the Alia’s 3-button interface, you can access 6 different pulsation patterns with adjustable intensity speed settings. I’m not sure of the amount of speeds, it’s kind of hard to tell.

The Patterns..

1. Continuous vibration. What I call the “Get ‘Er Done” mode. It’s simple and you know what to expect.
2. Extended interval pulsation. It’s kind of like blinking, but vibrations.
3. Intermediate interval pulsation. Faster blinking vibrations.
4. Wave pulsation 1. Vaaaarooom. I call this “The Tease”. The tempo is faster than the Gigi’s wave pulsation.
5. Wave pulsation 2. Vaaaarooom. Slower tempo.
6. Techno song pulsation? This is a mode that I didn’t think I’d be able to get off on, the first time around anyway.

The vibrations are pretty moderate in sound, which I appreciate. Using sex toys is still fairly new to me, so it’s nice not to be reminded that I am using one with monstrous buzzing. I do think I’d be willing to swap monstrous buzzing for some deeper vibrations, though. The first time I used the Alia, I thought the vibrations weren’t strong enough. Using it a second time, I was able to relax and enjoy it more, but I craved a stronger sensation.

When you turn the Alia on, its LED light blinks. I don’t know if it’s supposed to do that or if I have to hit something to turn it off. It’s kind of weird to me. Here I am in the dark, hoping hubby doesn’t walk in while I’m stimulating myself with this blinking object. It’s something you can easily ignore, but I will still make fun of it .

The Alia is a great first toy that I can accidentally leave out without anyone knowing quite what it is. I’d prefer a little more omph. But other than that, it’s a keeper.

LELO Insignia, Alia
Materials: body safe PC ABS / silicone, platinum-gold ABS core
Action: Vibrator
Power: Rechargeable
Lube: Water or oil-based only
Clean: Antibacterial soap and warm water. Rinse with hot and pat dry with lent-free cloth.
Waterproof: Yes. Avoid getting water in the AC socket.
Discreet shipping at FunWares

REVIEW: Sqweel Oral Sex Simulator by LoveHoney

Who doesn’t love a good oral-break in the middle of the day while the kids are sleeping or at school? I, for one, am a huge fan of oral sex (both giving and receiving) and on the days that I am exhausted (read: most days), nothing is more relaxing than when my husband chooses to focus his mouth’s attention on my body. Of course I was pleasantly surprised to be offered the opportunity to review an oral-sex simulator. The idea of being able to unwind on my own was irresistible.

Of course with any toy purchase you want discretion, and that is what I got. The Sqweel arrived from FunWares in a normal package that hid the fact that it held a sex toy inside. BIG PLUS for me as I often check the mail with my 4 year old in tow. The Sqweel is definitely unlike anything I have ever seen, used, or owned. It is equipped with 10 tongues promising to make you squeal in delight as it stimulates your clitoris at three different speeds. The tongues are soft, phthalate and latex free, and rotate freely in a black case. You don’t necessarily need lube, but it does feel better with it. I use AstroGlide! There are three speed settings and everything that I have read about the Sqweel recommends starting at the lowest and working your way up.

After putting my daughter to bed for a nap, I took the three hours that she usually sleeps as the perfect opportunity to take this new toy on a test drive. After lubing it up (I poured lube in my hand and ran the Sqweel allowing the tongues to run through it), I assumed the position and turned it on. I was turned off immediately by the sound. It is so loud. It sounds like one of my daughter’s motorized cars. I found myself unable to relax and it was virtually impossible to close my eyes and pretend that this was a real person. I tried to ignore the noise and continue. On the lowest setting, I felt nothing except an annoying flicker against my clit. I turned it up to medium and was still unable to attain any pleasurable sensation. I revved it to high and was so taken aback by the sound that I actually thought I broke it. Once I confirmed that it was supposed to sound like that, I laid back and tried for 20 minutes to stimulate myself. Nothing.

Seriously, I felt nothing. Now I know that I need intense stimulation from vibrators, but when it comes to oral sex, I’m like butter to heat! I have rarely met a tongue that did not tickle the ivories in less than 10 minutes. I am that easy! So, naturally, I thought that maybe I was using it wrong! Especially since most of the reviews I have read about this were GLOWING. I decided to ask my husband to use it on me when he returned from work. Admittedly, if my hubby is there with me there is no way that I would settle for a stimulator but I wanted to give this a fair chance. But it was pointless. The Sqweel did not make me scream it’s name.

REVIEW: Mini 4-Play Vibe – Pink by Lady Calston

ETA: This broke 10 minutes after I wrote this review. I used it for maybe 6-7 minutes and when I tried to turn it on again it would not. Batteries are not the problem as hubby brought new ones and the batteries work in my camera. It is very cheaply made.

Truth be told, I have used a lot of vibrators. I love them! While I am happily married with an active sex life, I am almost insatiable (story for another day). With a young child and a husband who works, he is not always available to me when I want. For this, vibrators come in handy! They are also fun to bring into the activity when he is available. So when I received the waterproof Mini-4-Play vibrator from DailySexToys.com, I was excited to give it a try (despite my preference for skin-colored toys).

This pocket-sized soft rubber, phthalate and latex free ( a plus because I have a sensitivity to latex), nature-friendly bright pink mini-pleasurer, looks inviting. It is designed for simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation and includes 4 interchangeable “Plug and Play” heads all creating different sensations. It is shaped like a mini-rabbit. If you are looking for a play-thing for lonely nights to release a bit of stress easily, this may be all you need. The tip rotates and provides an aggressive vibration that is both soothing and purposeful. The clitoral heads- a tiny tongue, rabbit ears, a flat ribbed nub and 4 flexible tickling fingers -are my favorites as for me pleasure comes in either deep thrust or clitoral stimulation. Vibration is nice but doesn’t get me to climax alone.

Which leads me to the things I don’t like. The soft material is only at the head of the vibrator which means you get very shallow stimulation unless you don’t mind enduring the harder material. It’s also not that thick. If you like more of a dildo plus vibrator, this is not for you. It is really mainly for vibration stimulation and not thrusting action. It also takes 3 “N” batteries which are not that common and thus not easily found. I had to look in five different stores and even then I could only find one 2 pack not a 4 pack.  I ended up having to use a battery from my old SLR camera.

All-in-all this was definitely a toy with potential. I did not get to try out its waterproof function, but I can definitely see how this could be fun while relaxing in a bath with essential oils or in a hot tub for two. Consider the Mini-4-Play vibrator a party starter or a stress reliever. If you want quick results in a short amount of time, this one’s for you!

Be sure to check out DailySexToys.com for deep discounts on sex toys shipped discreetly!

Review: LELO GIGI (became my clitoral vibe)

So the time has come; my first toy review courtesy of the folks at Paris Intimates!

So let me start off by reminding you all that I’m a lil’ sex toy illiterate, so forgive me if I don’t use the proper lingo. And because I am sex toy illiterate, I had to have a mini consultation via Skype with, Stef, owner of Paris Intimates. He recommended the LELO GIGI because I love me some g-spot stimulation.

When the Gigi arrived, I couldn’t believe I actually had acquired a sex toy – a luxury one at that (those damn LELO’s are so cute). I took it out of the box and saw that it was much smaller than what I expected. Thank goodness. Inside was said Gigi, a charger (yay for not needing batteries), an instruction booklet, and a satin drawstring case.

To prepare for my exploration, I charged up my GIGI for 2 hours. The control dial illuminated a bright white. I immediately thought I was dealing with a tech gadget. It was kind of cool . As I suspected, hubs wasn’t quite comfortable with my experimenting with sex toys, so I had to sneak off while he was sleeping.

Let’s talk design. The LELO GIGI is what I would call a modest sized luxury toy. It’s sleek shape of the base makes it easy to hold. The “insertable part” (aka the pleasure point) features a soft (phthalate-free) silicone. The pleasure point curves, revealing a flat, g-spot kink at the end which my vajayjay was not used to. It felt awkward going in at first because I’m not used to a kink being on the end of a… penis. Yes, the GIGI isn’t a penis, but that’s what I’m used to. And the kink does act like a kink especially when pulling out – it gets caught in my vagina area (determined by looking at a diagram).

Let’s talk modes. The LELO GIGI has five vibrator pattern settings and seven intensity speed settings.

The Patterns…

1. Continuous vibration. This is what I call “Get ‘Er Done” mode. One of my favs.
2. Extended interval pulsation. It’s kind of like blinking, but vibrations.
3. Intermediate interval pulsation. Faster blinking vibrations.
4. Short interval pulsation. Even faster blinking vibrations.
5. Wave pulsation. Vaaaarooom. I call this “The Tease”. Also a fav.

Now let’s talk about what the GIGI is intended for. G-spot stimulation. While the LELO GIGI is a g-spot vibrator, I was unable to achive a g-spot orgasm no matter how hard I tried. Maybe I need to relax more? I am perfectly able to achieve a g-spot orgasm during sex, so maybe it’s all in positioning. It would probably be easier if I didn’t have to control the GIGI with my hand. I’m thinking a position pillow would help, but THAT may be taking it too far since I do have a hubby to mount. When using the GIGI, I found myself just wanting to use it as a clitoral vibrator. It did get the job done there!

I have a few more toys to tell you all about. From trying them all, I think I’m just a clitoral girl. The LELO GIGI rocks my clitoral world. If anyone out there has been successful at using the GIGI for G-spot stimulation, I’d love to hear some pointers.

Get the LELO GIGI at Paris Intimates for only $63.95 – the lowest I’ve seen.